The Courageous Middle

I was in labor as the news of the Columbine massacre was hitting the airwaves. My daughter was born April 21. That day I wept tears of joy and sorrow. I felt her new and gentle heart beating next to mine while fearing for her safety in a world gone mad.

On September 11th I was in Washington DC, 687 miles from Chicago, when we were attacked at home. It took 3 days to get a rental car, and days more to drive across a deserted highway system, as we returned colleagues to their families across the country. The group continued on to California, after they rejoined me with my toddler and husband. I hugged them tightly, while panic and anxiety took over my breathing and constrained my chest.

Today I face-timed with my now nearly 21 year old who is studying abroad during the Covid-19 pandemic and the ensuing global health crisis. We examined the pros, we looked closely at the cons, and promised to work together as she, an adult in her own right, navigates important decisions on all fronts: education, career, and physical safety.

At the end of the conversation, my heart broke open. I reminded her of my heartaches in the past and shared that my chest was now tightened in a knot, concerned for her, concerned for us. Yet, I managed to eek out that I was proud of her, and that while my instinct is to hold on too tight, I know that releasing the grip is the right thing to do.

In these times of do’s and don’ts, fear and bravado, red and blue, right and wrong we might challenge ourselves to find the courageous middle. To be strong and vulnerable, to be open yet discerning, to be thoughtful and alert. To listen more deeply to each other and to ourselves.

For it is in this tension that creativity thrives, that learning occurs, ideas are born, and we move forward together.

Mary McGuinness, M.Ed., PCC is a career transition and shift-it coach based in Chicago, IL USA.
Mary uses visual coaching and design-thinking techniques and practices to accompany her clients on a journey of self-discovery that results in creative solutions, faster results, and happier, more fulfilling work lives. 

Photo Credit: Joel Filipe, joelfilip@gmail.com Instagram: @joelfilip