The Work You Don’t See Is the Work

Knitting and Not Knitting Belong Together

In knitting, we sometimes spend more time not knitting than knitting.

Not knitting is unraveling, sorting knots, backtracking, counting and recounting, tearing out work to fix a mistake. It is the part nobody sees when they complement your sweater, scarf, or beanie. Yet the two are inseparable. If I want to create a knitting project that is beautiful and well-structured, not knitting is not optional.

This is a useful metaphor for learning and leadership.

Many organizations reward uninterrupted forward motion. What is even more remarkable is that many leaders start to believe uninterrupted forward motion is the only way: decide, execute, deliver. No visible course correction.

That belief creates brittle leadership. It discourages reflection. It skips the pause. It stays in the action and does not make enough space for inquiry, assessment, and creative problem solving. Speed starts to crowd out learning. Results might look good on the outside, but they crack when tested. The Challenger disaster is a brutal reminder of what can happen when warning signals get minimized and momentum becomes the priority.

Knitting tells the truth. If you want a knitting project to hold up, you move forward and you also undo, correct, and return.

When Things Get Hard

Knitting is, for the most part, a solitary act. But when I’m working on a challenging project, the best route forward is often to join a knitting circle…or to call a lifeline from that circle.

A knitting circle is a small group that meets regularly to knit together, swap patterns, compare notes, and troubleshoot. It is part social, part skill lab. People bring whatever they are working on, and the circle becomes a shared workbench. It is also a strong model for how leaders can learn when things get hard because it quietly solves four problems that show up in leadership all the time.

1) It normalizes “not knitting” as part of the work

In a knitting circle, nobody acts shocked when you rip back. Mistakes are expected. You hold up the project, someone spots the missed step, you fix it with guidance, and you keep going. That shared norm lowers shame and speeds up learning.

Leadership cultures often do the opposite. They reward clean narratives and uninterrupted progress, so leaders hide the snag. Then it grows.

2) It replaces hero mode with distributed expertise

A circle makes it obvious you do not have to be the expert in everything. One person sees the pattern issue. Another notices where you misread or misunderstood the instructions. Someone else knows a workaround.

Learning becomes social and fast. That is exactly what complicated, messy problems require: multiple perspectives and shared ownership, not one leader trying to “solve” the system alone.

3) It creates psychological safety without getting soft

A good knitting circle is practical. It is also safe enough to show unfinished work, name confusion, and ask for help. That combination is powerful. It bakes in permission to be human, to ask questions, to challenge each other, and to try harder projects.

Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety is blunt: teams learn faster when people can speak up about errors, uncertainty, and concerns without fear of embarrassment or punishment.

4) It teaches the courage to undo and the discipline to correct

Undoing means admitting the current pattern is not working. It means letting go of sunk cost. It means disappointing someone’s expectations. It means revising in public view.

Leaders avoid undoing because it threatens a beloved story: strong leaders should have seen it coming. But undoing early can be the most responsible move a leader makes. It keeps small misses from turning into big messes. It protects trust, capacity, and resources.

Why knitting is such a good teacher

Knitting is both science and art.

Science is counting, checking, finding the miss, correcting it. Art is judgment and self-management: breathing, knowing when to pause, taking yourself off the hook, and not beating yourself up because you have to go back ten rows to correct one stitch. It is also refusing the comforting lie that it will be fine if you do not fix it. No one will know but me.

Knitting knows better. The longer you wait to fix an error, the more time-consuming it becomes.

One practical takeaway

Build your knitting circle before you need it.

Every leader needs a small group of peers who can help them see what they are missing, challenge the hero story, and normalize the “not knitting” part of the work. Not a post-mortem crew. A real-time learning crew. When the work gets hard, the goal is not to look flawless. The goal is to correct early, learn fast, and keep the project strong.