The Difference Between Holding Curiosity and Planting It
In my work as a coach, I hear a lot that we coaches value curiosity. Coaches pride themselves on being curious, open, and non-judgmental. However I have been thinking lately that there’s a difference between having curiosity and being curiosity.
Having curiosity is an internal quality, what psychology calls trait curiosity. It’s a mindset, a disposition to wonder. Important, yes, but often passive. You can “have” curiosity without doing anything with it.
Being curiosity is active. Psychologists calls this state curiosity: enacted, mindful, relational, creative. It shows up in behavior: asking questions that expand possibility, lingering with uncertainty, experimenting, and allowing meaning to emerge. Neuroscience shows that this form of curiosity activates the brain’s reward pathways, sharpening focus and memory. In relationships, it predicts trust and closeness because it signals presence and engagement.
Curiosity also evolves across the lifespan. Studies show trait curiosity may decline with age, but state curiosity often increases, proving that curiosity is not a youthful advantage but a lifelong practice that fuels growth and vitality.
A simple example is gardening. You might “have curiosity” about why one plant thrives in the shade while another withers. But when you step into the garden, test soil conditions, watch how pollinators behave, and adjust your planting accordingly, you are being curiosity. You are embodying it by observing, experimenting, and letting insight guide action.
The same applies in leadership and coaching. Leaders who only have curiosity may entertain ideas, but leaders who are curiosity embody it in their presence. They model openness by asking questions that expand possibility. They allow ideas to breathe instead of rushing to dismiss them. They treat uncertainty not as a problem to be solved quickly but as a field to explore.
Embodied curiosity does more than inform, it transforms. It reconfigures how we learn, how we connect, and how we grow.
