When feedback feels personal.

Feedback can sting, especially when we think we’re nailing it.

You’ve put in the effort. You’re bright, committed, ready for more. And yet, the promotion goes to someone else. Or you’re pulled into a meeting and given feedback that stings.

In these moments, the instinct may be to shut down, push back, or walk away. And sometimes that’s the right move, but not always.

Taking a breath, pausing, and assessing is key to moving forward with clarity and power.

If you’re facing one of these “stuck points,” here are a few questions to ground you:

• What part of this feedback (however clumsily delivered) holds a kernel of truth?

• How is my workplace shaping or constraining my growth?

• What opportunities for growth or development am I overlooking or ignoring?

• What relationships do I need to build or repair?

• What skills or capabilities, were I to further develop them, will serve me in this job and the next one?

We don’t have to shrink to stay, or blow things up to grow.

Taking a thoughtful, reflective and strategic approach can advance your career and protect your spirit. And if you’re navigating this now, you’re not alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, mentor or coach to gain perspective and create a shift forward.

Mary McGuinness is a certified ICF leadership and personal development coach whose mission is to help others maximize their potential to create ambitious plans for themselves, their organizations, and the teams they lead. You can find out more about Mary and how she provokes imagination that leads to dramatic results at marymcguinness.com.