Why I fired my coach.

Why I Fired My Coach: All Action, No Insight

I didn’t hire a coach to get someone else’s to-do list. I hired one to help me think, see, and grow in ways I couldn’t on my own.

I hired a coach because I wanted to grow in the way that matters most: through deeper insight, sharper self-awareness, and learning that translates into results.

What I got was a checklist.

He set the goals. He prescribed the actions. He didn’t ask enough questions to understand who I was, why I wanted a coach, or how I worked best. It was coaching “by the book,” heavy on direction and light on discovery.

It turns out this isn’t uncommon. Research from Harvard Business Review shows that chemistry and listening are the most critical ingredients in a successful coaching relationship. Without them, trust and real progress don’t take root. Atul Gawande, writing in The New Yorker, described the best coaches as “outside eyes and ears” — partners who help you see what you can’t see yourself, not taskmasters with a fixed plan.

The problem with a prescriptive coach, or one that asks rote coaching questions, is that you might get movement, but not mastery. You can check the boxes and still miss the insight that changes how you think, decide, and lead. Good coaches are less about telling you what to do, and more about helping you understand why you do it, what’s working, and what’s getting in the way.

I ended the engagement. Not because I didn’t want accountability, but because I refused to outsource my own vision. The right coach doesn’t just push you toward a finish line — they help you clear the noise so you can find your own direction.

Mary McGuinness is a certified ICF leadership and development coach who lives in Chicago and Galena IL USA. Her mission is to help nonprofit and higher education professionals grow in their leadership and to solve thorny problems for the populations they serve. You can find out more about Mary and how she provokes imagination that leads to dramatic results at marymcguinness.com.